Working It

My neighbor and I are both certified teachers, but she babysits. I don't have a job right now, but will babysit twins this fall. We love our children, but staying home does nothing for our slender pocketbooks. We were talking about the quandary of getting a teaching job when you have little kids. Sure, we like kids, but I have a feeling that dealing with kids all day as a profession would be a little. . . redundant. Did I say redundant? I meant noisy. I really should have majored in something that'd get me a job working at a tranquil spa or at a monastery.

Then I came across this on Facebook. Cheesy, but funny. It seems I'm not the only one searching for employment:

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
You have any ideas for a job? Maybe you have something that Works, because I don't.